The front page of one of Delhi's leading newspapers, The Indian Express, carried a tongue-in-cheek (I hope) article reporting comments made at the Cow Protection and Conservation Board's inaugural national workshop in Madhya Pradesh. Here are some of the gems:
- Only those inside houses coated with cow dung escaped the 1984 Bhopal gas tragedy
- There are only two ways to remain insulated from nuclear radiation, and one of them is the application of cow dung [to people and property, just in case you were wondering]
- Using cow dung can ensure normal birth instead of a c-section
- Those who drink the milk of jersey cows and buffaloes commit more crimes than those who drink only Desi [Indian] cow's milk
- Foreign cow breeds give only poisoned milk which causes autism and heart attacks
- 10 grams of cow's milk ghee [essentially clarified butter] is equal to 100 tonnes of oxygen
- Children become more obedient if they drink cow's milk [presumably only Desi milk though].
The conference finished with the announcement that the state of Madhya Pradesh will strictly enforce new anti-cow slaughter legislation (it's already illegal to buy and sell beef in India). Special designated officers will now roam the streets of Madhya Pradesh monitoring cow activity. Those accused (not guilty of) an offence under the new legislation could serve up to seven years in prison. The legislation also authorises officers to raid a person's house on suspicion of crimes under the act. All I have been able to think about all day is how much I'd kill for a steak sandwich. I'm just not sure that it's worth seven years in prison!
